Time has flown since I attended the Nostos Screenwriting Retreat in May. There’s a ton to say about my experience after being selected as one of eight writers to attend.

The Nostos screenwriting retreat runs a few times a year in Arezzo, Tuscany. Writers submit their screenplays through FilmFreeway. Feedback is guaranteed with each submission.

The retreat itself unfolds over two weeks and the attendance fee covers accommodation in a rustic villa, all meals (except lunch and dinner on weekends) prepared fresh by a cook from the yummiest local ingredients, a couple of mentor sessions with an onsite industry professional, the opportunity to spend a week (or two) in workshop sessions with your fellow writers, plus two industry pitch sessions with Italian producers, so you can learn to pitch your screenplay.

As I type this I ponder which train of thought to follow for this story — the one telling me to write about my experience as a writer based in Europe who does not work in Hollywood, or the one which focuses on the mental and personal blocks I experienced working with other writers in such a space during a limiting time, or perhaps how I felt about collaboration and giving and receiving feedback.

To cover all bases, I’ll touch on a feeling or a personal note about each point mentioned above.

My Screenwriter Origins & Experience as an EU-based Writer Removed from Hollywood

When my feature screenplay, To Hold the Moon, was selected for the two week screenwriting retreat I was simultaneously thrilled and surprised. This was my first feature screenplay and I’d written it back in 2019. To me, the story felt jumbled, too many ideas and a ton of long-winded dialogue filled the 126 pages. I needed some guidance as to how to move the story forward and clean up my work.

I’d heard of Nostos Screenwriting Retreat from an actor/writer I’ve worked with in Australia. She did the retreat in 2023. After seeing her post about Nostos on socials, I decided that I would apply. When I did, I thought ‘if Jeni, who is a TV writer in Australia got accepted, my chances are slim’. But I applied anyway and got accepted.

I was the only European-based writer there and I was barely able to afford the cost to participate due to the low wages in Croatia. I panicked about it for months as they needed the deposit fee paid pretty quickly after acceptance to hold my room and place. Two funding opportunities I frantically applied for to cover the cost didn’t come through. For this month Nostos did not have a scholarship in place and I was ready to just give up my place.

Every day I thank the universe for my very generous mother and my super supportive husband who helped me financially get here.

The other writers were employed in the film industry or working in creative sectors in LA and New York. Unlike me, they came from a more positive place and didn’t struggle to pay the fees. Nor did they seem to struggle in life or in their career prospects. A couple of them came with screenplays that were already optioned or sold.

Over dinner at the retreat one of the managers mentioned that a majority of the writers who attend are American and sometimes they have Germans. It makes sense for a couple of reasons, like the financials, and the industry connection factors.

These retreats are not for people from low income Eastern European countries, clearly. I stood out like a sore thumb and I often felt the pressure to fit in. As the only writer from Europe it was challenging. The obvious gap in our finances – me with my shitty second hand 2013 Apple laptop and the Americans with their latest Apple laptops and devices was just one embarrassing cultural gap indicator.

I unintentionally got left out of a few of the conversations, mostly because the way I’ve lived in Europe is vastly different to their lives in America. The creative, liberal Americans live in a world that is saturated with art and entertainment. Hollywood baby!

They spoke of so many TV shows I had no idea about, or never heard of. They constantly talked a lot about industry news, actors, filmmakers and films I knew nothing about as I am so far removed from any art and worldly culture here in Pula. There’s only so much you can read online.

Once you’ve lived in Europe and worked for the minimum wage for the last eight years and had to scrape by most of your life as an artist in Australia, it’s a little more difficult to relate to people who were born into privilege. Let’s just say I ate in silence most meals. But I also learnt a ton about the industry and how it works from listening. I’m a great observer.

The Mental and Personal Blocks I Experienced Working Collectively

The cultural differences aside, my biggest personal mental roadblock was believing that I deserved to be there.

Sure, a few of the writers were in the film industry and have had screenplays sold or optioned, one was working as a screenplay advisor for a major studio, but they also had solid screenplays.

I had to focus on the positives and on my screenplay and how much I’d achieved. Imposter syndrome when writing screenplays can be very difficult to navigate, feeling alien on top is disheartening if you let it be.

Matcha and writing at Rabit Rabit Bistrot Arezzo Town

Luckily everyone was supportive and really lovely. We all helped each other to work through any problems we felt were happening within our screenplays through workshops during the first week and we continued conversations when we each needed it during week two.

When I started to settle in and get used to people reading and breaking down my work, my confidence in my ability, my vision, and the overall story I was writing grew.

There were some truly inspirational moments that unfolded during our feedback sessions and I managed to deal with my imposter syndrome by focusing on my work, celebrating everyone else's, and just being humble and accepting that we all had very different stories and backgrounds.

What surprised me was that once I got to know the person behind the screenplay, I had a better understanding as to why they wrote that story in particular. We all leave pieces of ourselves in our work.

Feedback Sessions

Finally, I’d like to write about how I found receiving feedback (for the first time).

It was so positive, totally brilliant! The feedback I received was invaluable. Afterwards I was overwhelmed. I had to take a walk outside the villa gates and beyond in nature to get my head straight. Luckily there was lots of nature around, if you could brave meeting the local wild boar population.

One morning, I decided to walk the forty minutes to town, hoping the fresh air and distance would help me process everything. About fifteen minutes in, the bushes started shaking. Loudly. I immediately thought boars. I'd been warned by our host that they roam the area and, yes, can be aggressive if provoked. I froze, then turned around and speed-walked back up the hill, heart pounding, clutching my bag like it would somehow protect me from a tusked charge.

Retreat back to the retreat. Classic.

Anyway, after the feedback session, I plotted out some character backgrounds and connections to give me a basis from which to work with regarding my characters and their wants and desires. All this before I went in for a rewrite of my latest draft.

I was fine with receiving feedback, but giving it was a whole other kettle of fish. Basically, I sucked at it. Giving feedback totally stumped me. It was truly anxiety inducing for me and it didn’t get easier day to day.

When it came to talking about the characters and the connections and the meanings behind the relationships I had read, I was fine, I could talk about that and critique those aspects in everyone’s screenplays.

However, what I struggled with was giving feedback from a different perspective in regards to how to make the story stronger, the dialogue easier to read, possible alternative story arcs, etc.

This could be a lack of experience on my part because I’m not an industry person, but a self-taught filmmaker and writer. I have also not written a ton of screenplays (although I do read loads of them).

Perhaps I’m just too far removed from the system and how things are done in the film industry. I can’t put my finger on it really, it could be due to how my brain functions.

On Leaving

Saturday morning, the last day of the retreat, my train was scheduled at 7.20am from Arezzo station bound for Bologna central.

Even though I longed to swim in the sea, to be with my husband and my sweet cat, I felt sad about leaving the villa with the prospects of returning to my routine in Croatia.

It was nice to not cook for two weeks, to have the space to write distraction free and to have the support from other writers. In between writing, the space and time to walk around the grounds, stare out at the mountains and houses, then return and fall back into my writing flow was ideal. Sunrise yoga on the villa roof and sunset drinks with other writers in the evening will be missed, but the memory cherished.

I can still taste the crisp, ice cold kick of that local Prosecco I devoured at the wine bar while writing a scene in Corona, and I will never forget the bartender's expression when I whipped out my laptop.

I’m very proud of myself for getting through those two weeks. It's been an informative experience, one that will shape me as a writer going forward in this strange world of screenplay writing.

Everything we worked on there made us better writers and people. We got the opportunity to read everyone's screenplay and that alone was a positive. Four of us got to a fresh draft by the last day, including myself.

Final thoughts

To anyone wanting to do this, I urge you to apply. If not with Nostos Screenwriting Retreats, somewhere else. But make sure doing so does not leave you broke or stressed. Because if you are not able to afford it, you may feel the divide is too great, like I did.

There is funding which you can apply to to help you cover the costs, but you need to find this on your own. Nostos Screenwriting Retreats also has a scholarship, but it is not always on offer.

With so many ways to travel these days, even house sitting, house swapping or a sublet could find you your own little writing nook with a lovely view. Minus the live collaborative feedback, of course.

But there are ways to get feedback online and I understand it may not be ideal to work this way, as I have for years, alone without a writing community, but the main thing is that you are writing.

When you reach that last page of your first draft of your feature screenplay you breathe a sigh of relief. You did it. That counts and it’s a big deal.

Written by Sarah Jayne Portelli

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